


Winter Sleep (Kagehina)

by sparklytrash



Category: Haikyuu!!, Kagehina - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Coma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Older Characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2018-10-08 09:13:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10383273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklytrash/pseuds/sparklytrash
Summary: Hinata falls into a frozen lake and is left in a coma for 8 years, said to never wake up. This is the story of how Kageyama takes care of and teaches Hinata how to live again as he keeps deep dark secrets of his own that have been eating away at him for the last 8 years...Comments are really helpful so please leave me some! Thank you!





	1. The Nightmares

"Bakeyama! When have you ever appreciated me?! When have you ever simply thanked me or said 'good job'?! I'm done with you yelling at me!" Although distorted, his small voice still managed to peirce with despair, able to send shivers down anybody's spine. The faint muffled sound of snow crunching under feet and fading sobs seemed almost as if it was all happening underwater.

"HINATAAAA!" A desperate scream cut through the air almost inaudible, moving further and further away before disappearing into an unnatural silence.

... _Kersploosh_...

* * *

 

Kageyama sat up quickly in his bed, his body covered in sweat from head toe.

Panting heavily with burdened breaths as he felt around the bed sheets.

_Ugh... They're soaked... Again..._

He casually glanced over to the small naked girl that slept next to him.

Luckily the sweat spot didn't reach her and his sudden stir didn't seem to wake her either.

He pulled the blanket from his sticky skin and slowly and gently inched his way out of bed. As not to wake her.

He heard her softly groan as he slowly pulled the door shut behind him with a creak.

As he walked through the hallway he pulled off his sweaty shirt and threw it into the laundry room as he passed.

When he got into the bathroom he turned the water on cold and left the door open as he finished stripping and jumped into the shower.

While taking his shower he could hear the bedroom door open and the girls bare feet slap against the wood floor.

~ _yaaaawwn_ ~

"Tobio...? Why're the sheets all wet on your side?" She spoke in a yawn as she rubbed her eyes, her teasing voice raspy with sleep.

Kageyama pulled the shower curtain back and looked at her down the hall.

Tall, long brown hair, gorgeous, and wearing his t-shirt that was way too baggy for her, _just_ his t-shirt.

"Don't worry about it, I just got a little hot during the night..." He shouted over the running water of the shower as she dragged her feet along the floor making her way into the kitchen.

"Hah, you're telling me..." She snorted at her own dirty joke.

He rolled his eyes and smirked slightly as he pulled the curtain back and finished up his shower.

Wrapping a towel around his waist and running his fingers through his wet hair. He walked into the kitchen and the petite girl handed him a cup of coffee.

She struggled onto her tippy toes to give him a kiss. Kageyama chuckled softly at her cute attempt and leaned down to help her achieve her goal.

She was about the same size as Hinata... or as Hinata _would_ be since he had been in a coma for 8 years.

Kageyama always hated himself for thinking about these things...

Comparing every one of his girlfriends _or boyfriends_  to Hinata, finding something, the littlest thing, they might have in common with

his first love.

"By the way, do you have exams today?" She spoke softly as the raspy nature of her voice started to fade. She placed her face on the palm of her hand as she leaned on the counter with her elbow and stared across at Kageyama sweetly.

"Hmm... No my semester finals are tomorrow." He thought before lying to her, he just didn't feel like going today...

_Just not today..._

Her eyes narrowed and a small smirk spread across her lips as she leaned further into her hand.

"Your lying~" She teased as she sat in a chair near the counter and re-situated her arm, keeping it on her cheek.

"Why?" She was curious and wore this mischievous child-like expression on her face that drew interest from Kageyama.

_What could she possibly be thinking of right now?_

He rested his elbow on the counter placing his coffee down as he leaned in closer to her face, looking deeply into her playful green eyes.

"Why do you think?"

"Hmm... It doesn't seem it's just a simple case of you not wanting to go...." She deviously tried to concoct any possible reasons as she leaned in even closer, touching their noses.

_Well she was right about that_.

"Hmmm?" He sounded quite impressed as he stood up straight and took a sip of his coffee before placing it on the counter.

Still wearing just a towel he walked into his bedroom before returning shortly with his phone in hand as he swiped across the touchscreen unlocking it.

"I guess I'll tell you. We have been dating for about 3 months." He spoke softly, his attention divided as he focused on the screen of his phone.

_This was the longest he had ever stayed in a relationship with someone...._

_Okay....okay... Now where did I put it...?_

She watched him curiously as he continued to drag his finger across the surface scrolling through the phone's contents.

"Ah, found it." He flipped the phone in his hand and put the display close to her face.

On the screen there was a picture of an orange-haired boy smiling brightly. Kageyama stood next to him with an annoyed look on his face as the boy pulled into him.

It was the type of smile that gave you a feeling of warmness and safety, a smile too bright and happy to look at.

"Uwaaaa! Your so young Tobio!" She exclaimed excitedly as she snatched the phone from his hand.

"You see the other kid in the picture?" He spoke softly as he scratched his now partly dried hair.

"Yeah, the orange fluff ball? What about him?" He waved his hand gesturing for her to return his phone to him as she looked up to him hesitantly.

"He fell into a frozen river 8 years ago today and has been in a coma ever since." She scanned the picture on the screen once more, absorbing the image before reluctantly placing it back in his hand.

"That's... Terrible...." She spoke with a gentle condoning voice.

"... But what does that have to do with you not wanting to go to finals?" She softly asked, her initial question still unanswered.

He gazed at the photo with a soft expression that she had never seen before.

"He is the first person I ever loved." He peered up from the screen and smiled sadly.

Her eyes widened at the words that had come out of his mouth and at this smile that she never thought she would ever see on his face.

"I visit him in the hospital every year today...."

... _I visit way more than that, but that's not the point_...

"Oh... I guess that answers my question." She averted her eyes to the floor as she sat there somewhat at a loss as how to react.

As he placed his phone on the counter her eyes suddenly lit up.

Her chair scraped against the ground loudly, ripping through the silence as she rapidly rose to her feet.

"WAIT! TOBIO YOU'RE... BI?!?!" She suddenly shouted with a baffled expression on her face.

Kageyama jolted slightly from her sudden outburst and stared at her in shock for a few moments before bursting into laughter.

"Bwahahahah! I'm gonna go get changed now." When he finally caught his breath again he turned and walked into the bedroom to change his clothes.

As he changed the small girl noticed Kageyama's phone display light up and start to buzz as it vibrated against the counter.

"Kageyama! Phone call!" She yelled as she grabbed the phone to look at the caller ID.

"Who?"

"I dunno... Some random number" She watched questioningly as he peeked out of the bedroom door fully dressed.

"Just answer it for me." He said as he walked into the kitchen and picked up his coffee again.

She tapped the answer button and put the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" Kageyama leaned against the counter as he sipped on his coffee and watched her intently as she answered his phone.

"Um, yes this is Kageyama Tobio's phone number." She glanced up to him slightly confused as she placed her hand on her cheek again and leaned into the same position as before.

"Huh, um he's not here at the moment." She said once she received a signal from him.

"Oh, who?"

"Well, okay..." As she took the phone away from her ear she placed a hand over the speaker.

"They say its something super important... Something about someone named H-Hina-ta.... Somethi-" He quickly grabbed the phone before she could even finish whispering the message.

"Um, yes, hello?!" She was surprised by how tense Kageyama got upon hearing the name.

After a few seconds of listening intently, his face dropped and the coffee mug slipped out of his grip and shattered on the floor.

She jumped at the sudden sound and the fact that she's never seen him drop anything... _ever_....

"Wha- wha- what is it?!?!" She could barely form the words as she sat on the edge of her chair.

Her expression transition from confusion to fear, her eyes widened as she stared at his hand that was trembling and gripping tightly at the phone in it.

".... T-t-t-tobio...." She stuttered as his hand dropped to his side, a tear fell down his cheek.

He suddenly ran into the living room and grabbed a coat off the rack as he shoved on his shoes at the door.

"Wha-what happened?!?! Who was that?!?! What did they say?!?" Her eyes closely followed his movements as he quickly put on his jacket and ran out the door.

The loud bang of the door reverberated in the small apartment as she was left there... Alone and confused...

She sat in the silent apartment, alone, completely at a loss as to what had just happened.

".... Tobio...." She whispered to herself worried as she slouched in her chair.

* * *

 

"He's awake."


	2. Awakening

### Hinata POV

Distant sounds slowly crept into my consciousness. They were muffled and faraway at first, almost as if I was in an enclosed room.

Then suddenly they got too loud to bear. A steady beeping sound, distant chatter and footsteps, the smell of cleaning products and antiseptics.

My body felt so heavy and stiff, but light at the same time. I slowly opened my eyelids, I felt so groggy it was unbelievable.

The light stung so bad I had to shut them again immediately.

When I was finally adjusted to the light I squinted at a blurry figure that stood above me. As my vision focused I could make out the baffled expression on the woman's face.

I tried to speak but all that came out was a weak and raspy puff of air.

The woman suddenly ran off and soon returned with a large group of other people.

They ran a series of tests on me and fed me. I could barely even move my body, they had to hand feed me themselves.

At this point they explained to me where I was and why I was there.

I didn't remember anything of the incident that they told me about.

The last thing I remembered was playing volleyball with Kageyama...

Speaking of which I wonder how he's been doing...

### Kageyama POV

I ran through the front doors heaving heavily.

I tried to calm myself down as I worked my way up to the front desk, signed myself in and immediately headed for Hinata's hospital room.

I decided I would call Rei (his girlfriend) as soon as I made sure Hinata was alright.

By the time I got to the floor Hinata's room was on I realized I was running again.

But I didn't care anymore, I wanted to see my orange ray of sunshine as soon as possible...

I stopped in front of the room and tightly gripped the handle, before hesitating.

Freezing like that I stopped in my tracks, loosening my grip as I suddenly felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach.

Thoughts raced through my head as I stood there like that.

_What if he thinks its my fault?_

_What if he hates me for it?_

_What if there's permenant damage?_

_What if he's not okay?_

_What if he doesn't love me anymore?_

I rapidly shook my head as if to shake those thoughts out of my head and took a deep breath.

_Either way you have to see him..._

I tightened my grip once more, and before I could turn away and regret it.

I took a deep breath, turned the knob and opened the door.


	3. Reunion

The door abruptly swung open, startling everyone as the out of breath Kageyama burst into the hospital room.

Kageyama's eyes immediately locked onto the skinny orange-haired boy resting in the hospital bed.

Hinata stared at this guy who had just burst into his room, he didn't recognize the suspicious man at first… As he focused more closely at his clean-shaven face and deep blue eyes, it suddenly clicked in his head.

"K-kage-yama...?" Hinata's hoarse voice instantly jolted Kageyama out of his hazy dream-like state and into the realization that the past 20 minutes he had experienced were _real._

The past _8_ _years._

Hinata was _really_ awake, he was _really_ there, this was all _really_ happening, and it wasn't just _another dream_.

"Hinata.... Y-You're finally awake..." Kageyama struggled to keep his composure as he began to tremble. He swayed back and forth and attempted to make his way to Hinata on his unsteady noodle legs.

The doctor noticed his unstable movements as he passed him by and gave him slight support by the elbow.

When he finally reached Hinata’s bed Kageyama gently laid his hand over Hinata's, his hand which completely covered Hinata's own small boney one.

It felt so fragile and weak as he wrapped his fingers around it cradling Hinata's hand ever so gently.

"Wh-what... a-re... you d-oing... he-re..." Hinata was still having some trouble speaking. He had only woken up a few hours beforehand after all and he _had_ been in a coma for 8 years.

Kageyama looked up to Hinata still not exactly present in a sense, hesitant to accept as to whether this was real or not.

He peeked across to the other side of Hinata’s bed and noticed a small orange-haired girl lying beside Hinata. It was his younger sister Natsu, resting her little head on his bony shoulder as she slept soundly in her school uniform.

Kageyama sluggishly turned back to Hinata with slight disbelief still in his expression.

"I've been waiting for you to wake up like everybody else… stupid Hinata." Kageyama’s smile was warm and caught Hinata slightly off guard. His mind went blank and he could no longer think of anything else anymore.

All he could do was follow Kageyama's movements with his eyes as he turned Hinata's small hand over and over in his palm, still trying to convince himself of this reality.

This sensation of Kageyama's hand caressing his own felt familiar, somehow, even though he had never done that sort of thing before.

"Tobio if you don't mind I'd like to borrow that arm for a moment." The doctor asked politely with a kind smile.

Hinata’s head shifted from Kageyama to the doctor sharply as if he were snapped out of a trance.

 _He addressed Kageyama by his first name? Are they close?_ Hinata thought it slightly concerning as he closely watched Kageyama converse with the doctor.

"Oh, yeah… Sorry about that." Kageyama spoke softly as he apologized and slowly stood up to move out of the doctors way.

"Oh no, It's okay…" The doctor smiled with reassurance once more as he cradled Hinata’s arm in his hand and inspected its movement with heightened care.

“I’m also sorry for, um, barging in here so suddenly earlier… It seemed you weren’t done with your, uh, tests yet…” Kageyama spoke up slightly embarrassed after a long moment of silence subconsciously avoiding eye contact.

“Oh it’s quite alright, he woke up a few hours ago anyway. We ran all the necessary tests before contacting any of you.”

“More importantly, after all this waiting… You must’ve been utterly shocked to get that call.” He said as he slowly turned back to Kageyama while writing some things on his clipboard.

"Yeah... I still can't believe he's finally awake..." As Kageyama confided sincerely with the doctor, Hinata watched and began to notice how much Kageyama had changed since he last saw him.

Hinata would avert his eyes whenever Kageyama glanced toward him with a small grateful smile at every mention of Hinata’s name, a smile Hinata was not used to being shown.

"Oh do you by chance know where Mrs. Hinata might be?" As soon as these words left Kageyama's mouth Hinata nodded his head quickly showing great interest in the topic of his mother's whereabouts.

"Natsu informed me that she is at work at the moment and will come here as soon as she possibly can... but as you know she is quite far away and will have to take a few train rides in order to get here..." The doctor relayed the information to the two of them as they both listened with cocked ears.

"Oh, alright…." Kageyama glanced to Hinata who sighed and slouched back into his hospital bed as the doctor turned around and headed toward the door.

"Well, it's time for me to go, he's in your care now Tobio. I'll stop by later to give you the rest of the details." The doctor waved out the door as he said goodbye.

It tugged at Hinata’s conscious when he heard the doctor call Kageyama by his first name again.

"Thanks, see you later then, Hanzo." Kageyama waved back as he pulled up a chair and placed his hand on top of Hinata's once more.

As he sat down and cradled the small man’s bony hand again, he noticed an expression on Hinata's face that said he wanted to ask a question.

Kageyama nodded his head to tell him he’s listening then proceeded to give him all of his attention.

“Wh-y… fir… st na-me… s…?” Hinata’s gravelly voice questioned softly. As Kageyama listened he chuckled softly at his innocent question.

“He’s a co worker and close friend of mine…” He smiled as he continued to rub Hinata’s small fingers.

“I go to college near here and work in this hospital. That’s actually one of the reasons why you’re so far away from home…. Because I asked your mom if you could be transferred to the hospital I work in.” Kageyama explained knowing it was a lot of information to process for someone who had just woke up.

Hinata just stared at Kageyama still processing, looking to his hand being cradled in Kageyama's and then back to his face.

“Th—tha...nk...yo—u…” He smiled brightly as he managed to get these words out of his mouth. Just then Kageyama’s phone began to buzz, he jumped slightly startled at the interruption.

He quickly reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out checking the caller ID on the screen.

Hinata watched Kageyama closely as that was all that he could do. Once Kageyama’s hand wasn’t over his own all he could think of was how cold and lonely it now felt…

He looked at the phone display…

_Rei… I guess I should tell her what's going on… It's the least I could do after leaving her alone like that…_

Hinata looked to Kageyama curiously as he stood up and smiled at Hinata softly.

“Gimme a sec, I'll be back.” He spoke in a kind whisper as he reached out his hand and ruffled Hinata’s overly long hair. Brushing his long bangs out of his face before turning and leaving.

Kageyama quietly closed the door behind him as he slowly stepped out.

Once Kageyama was out of the room Hinata looked down and smiled softly, as he lifted up his shaky hand and placed it on his own head.

… _It feels like forever since Kageyama’s pet me… I missed it…_

He still felt Kageyama’s lingering touch as he peered lovingly towards Natsu sleeping peacefully next to him.

As soon as Kageyama gently slid the door closed behind him he pressed the answer button and place the phone to his ear as he began distancing himself from the door.

“Hello.” He answered calmly.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!?” Was the first thing he heard blasting in his ear from the other end.

He winced and pulled the phone away a little as he tried to listen to her shouts from afar.

“I WAS WORRIED AT FIRST BUT NOW I’M JUST PISSED! I’VE CALLED YOU LIKE 10 TIMES!!! I KNOW HOW UNPREDICTABLE KAGEYAMA TOBIO CAN BE, BUT SERIOUSLY!” She inhaled deeply before shouting with pure anger into Kageyama's ear.

Once he knew she was done yelling he brought it close to his ear again.

“I’m sorry for worrying you… I just had too much on my mind to pay attention to it…”

_He knew she was actually just sick with worry and on the verge of crying… This was just how she expressed herself because she was a kind of person that didn't like to feel weak… Rei’s a cute girl…_

_“..._ A simple text would’ve sufficed…” He could tell she was pouting by the sound of her voice on the other line.

“Well I'm alright, you don't have to worry.” She looked at the phone dissatisfied with his words.

“Where are you.” She said this more as a demand than a question as she regained her composure.

“That doesn’t matter just relax… And I'll be home sometime soon—”

“Where.” The tone of her voice could send chills down any grown man’s back.

This time he answered without hesitation.

“The hospital…” He felt so defeated as a man.

“Why.”

“I told you, you—” He tried to get out of it but she cut him off again.

“Fine. I'm coming.” He could hear the sound of keys jingling through the phone speaker.

“Wa-wai-wait!” Kageyama didn't want her to come here just yet.

Her and Hinata were complete opposites, ironically, and he wasn't sure how they would react to one another.

“Y-you know that kid I showed you earlier today…?” So he told her.

“Yeah…” Her voice sounded skeptical as she stopped in her tracks listening.

“Well… He is Hinata Shouyou and he woke up from his coma today.” He sat down and thought about how manipulative this woman was and wondered why he was dating such a woman.

“All right. Thanks for telling me babe~” Then she hung up.

Kageyama sighed deeply as he sat there baffled by all the types of women he had dated so far.

 _Out of all of them_ , he wondered, _why was she the one he's stayed with for the longest_.

Except he knew exactly why, after all she was his second genuine love after Hinata...


	4. Reina Itsuko

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei finally arrives at the hospital to introduce herself to Kageyamas Kageyama's first love.

When Kageyama finally returned to the hospital room looking defeated, he immediately reoccupied his previous position. With his hand delicately placed over Hinata’s.

The small boney boy looked to him with concern as he licked his lips in preparation for another attempt at speech.

“Who…” He spoke with an airy voice and a slight crack. Kageyama had been putting all of his attention on Hinata since the moment he got there, not breaking eye contact once.

For the first time Kageyama's gaze slipped to the tile floor as he thought desperately for an answer.

“Umm… My girlfriend…” His own soft words hurt him as he watched Hinata’s face fall for a split moment before returning to a smile and his head nodding approvingly.

“Her name’s Rei, it’s been maybe 3 months…” He continued, understanding that Hinata wanted him to keep talking.

“She’ll probably be here soon…” The atmosphere was awkward somehow. When he decided he was done talking about his girlfriend, who was basically the complete opposite of Hinata.

He didn't know how that happened…

After about twenty minutes, a knock at the hospital room door startled the two of them enough to jump slightly in place. Hinata gazed questioningly at the beautiful girl with dark hair who walked in with a young boy attached to her leg, followed by a slightly older boy bolting into the room chuckling mischievously.

Hinata's eyes darted to Kageyama who stood up and walked over to her, placing a kiss on her forehead. He watched their interactions intensely.

“Whoa, whoa…” He spoke quietly as he grabbed and restrained the energetic young boy.

“Sorry babe, my sister called and told me she had to take Suna and Minato to a school thing and forced them on me…” The girl had a playful voice, contradicting her somewhat hard yet still beautiful facial features.

“It's fine [it actually lightens the mood a bit]...” He uttered softly as the younger boy managed to wriggle out of his grasp. The kid laughed mockingly at the two adults as he resumed his rampage about the room.

Kageyama gasped and Hinata noticed the girl, he now assumed to be Rei, open her mouth presumable to shout but immediately close it once she set eyes on the sleeping Natsu.

Her restraint was pointless though when the small boy bumped into the napping girl and caused her to stir awake. She groaned softly as she looked up sleepily not entirely knowing where she was, what she was doing, or what the hell was happening.

As she yawned she looked around slowly remembering where she was but quickly noticing Kageyama and the other three.

“Kageyama…?” She yawned as she attempted to rub the sleep from her eyes, her face contorting with confusion as she was still trying to process everything. Until her face suddenly lit up with the final connections of her brain being established from sleep.

“Kageyama!” She shouted as she stood up with excitement visibly on her face.

“Kageyama-oniichan!” Hinata's eyes widened at the way she addressed him as she ran at him for a hug.

Rei giggled as she watched the small girl wrap around her boyfriend tightly, watching as a small smile formed on his face while he looked down at the girl with admiration and returned her embrace.

“Still as clingy as ever Natsu.” She voiced through her smile.

Rei had no idea that Natsu had an older brother… And that that older brother was her boyfriend of three months’ first love. He had always told her that Natsu was a friend of the family and left it at that.

“And Rei!” She looked to the older woman with an excited expression, still attached to Kageyama. Until her face fell for a moment— she knew Kageyama didn't want her to know about Shouyou.

When she shifted her attention back to Kageyama questioningly he ruffled her hair telling her it was okay. She perked up before finally separating from him and running back to Hinata's side.

The older of the two younger boys was still running around and Rei sighed and without anything holding her back, scolded him.

“Tacchan! Wouldya stop running around?! You’re rieling Eita up!” She said rather loud, drawing a giggle out of Natsu and Kags, as well as stopping the kid in his tracks with wide eyes and a fearful expression.

The one clinging to her leg was clearly on the brink of joining the other boy as she said, until she stopped him. The older one dragged his feet with his head down to her side when she beckoned him over. She walked up to Hinata who had been silent this whole time and held out a hand.

“I’m Reina Itsuko, its really nice to finally meet you.” Her hard face softened to an astonishing amount, he thought it was almost impossible how different she looked.

She smiled widely and spoke so kindly, he struggled to reach out and grab her hand in greeting. She noticed this and reached over further in order to make their hands meet sooner.

“H-hina—ta… Sh-sho… uyō…” He stuttered with his weak unused voice, to which she smiled softly in response.

“This is Takeru and this is Eita, my younger brothers. Only two out of the seven of us.” First indicating towards the seven year old, then to the 5 year old.

Once she finished introducing the large span of her family she frowned at how visibly drained Kageyama had looked and advised that he take a nap. She sat him down at the chair and gave him a little smile before saying in she was going to take Eita and Takeru somewhere where they couldn't bother anybody and keep them busy for a bit and return soon.

She said she wasn't going farther than inside the hospital, but Kageyama didn't really acknowledge that part since he was already drifting off to sleep with his head rested on Hinata's side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long... I'm a shitty updater...
> 
> Edit: I changed the end cus I was like wut was I thinking with that fucking dream chapter, how was I supposed to segway anything from that so I fixed it...


	5. Remembering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back story on how Hinata got into a coma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad chapter cus I wrote this a while back and was too lazy to write a new chapter! Yaay!

It was winter. Again. Kageyama hated winter.

The memory that had ruled over his life for the past 8 years constantly replaying over and over again every time he saw so much as a frozen puddle or snow. And during the winters the nightmares were endless… They never stopped… Torturing him with what he had done.

Hinata had confessed to Kageyama months earlier but Kageyama at the time could only focus on volleyball, and he locked away those feelings… Whether he had them or not… And afterward Kageyama no longer knew how to act around Hinata, he didn’t want to hurt him anymore than he already had with turning him down…

So he did the only thing he knew how to do, he pushed him away… Although Hinata just told him to forget about it and act like normal Kageyama couldn’t and he grew increasingly aggressive towards the other boy.

“Stupid Hinata, what are you doing?! Get it right next time!” He shouted with a deep stabbing voice that made Hinata jolt at his viciousness.

“Whoa, there Kageyama… Calm down, what’s gotten into you?”

…  _ I… I didn’t mean to be so mean… That’s just how it came out… I'm sorry Hinata… _

_ “ _ Tch… It’s not my fault he can’t do anything except spike when it comes to volleyball…”

_ What am I saying? Why am I saying such mean things? Just look at his face… He’s trying so hard not to cry right now… Just shut up already… _

“Did something happen between you two?”

_ No… I just broke his poor innocent heart... And now I'm rubbing dirt into the wound... _

“Hehe, yeah… I knocked over some water onto his homework and he had to redo it… I said sorry Kageyama!” Hinata lied as he discreetly wiped his eyes and ruffled his hair laughing awkwardly…

_ Stop defending me… Stop trying to justify my actions… Aren’t you just hurting yourself more by doing that? _

The stress weighing on Hinata continued to get heavier… The stress of having to suppress his feelings for Kageyama… Giving up on him… The stress of Kageyama hurting him even more everytime bitter words fell from his mouth…

_ Why is he being like this? I wish I'd never confessed to him… Then things would still be normal… _

“Ugh, can’t you do anything right? STUPID HINATA?” He spoke with a harsh voice as he grabbed the volleyball off of the gym floor.

_ I… didn't mean that… Hinata, sorry… I'm sorry… _

“Why don’t you just play volleyball by yourself, instead of wasting my precious time!”

_ I am so sorry… That’s not what I wanted to say… I'm sorry… Why did those words come out… _

Hinata’s face scrunched up as he clenched his fists and tried to hold back the tears. This is how it was with Kageyama everyday for him now, and he was getting tired of it…  _ So tired of it… _

“You can do that can’t you?!”

_ Stop talking… Just stop… He's hurting… Isn't this exactly what you you wanted to prevent yourself from doing??!! _

“Just play with the wall like you used to back in middle school.”

“That’s all you’re good for anyway.’

_ No… I… I didn’t mean that… Why… WHY AM I SAYING SUCH TERRIBLE THINGS TO HIM! All he did was say he loves me… Oh… _

Kageyama bit his lip.  _ Hard. _ To keep any more foul words from coming out of his mouth. Blood trickled down his lip and chin.

Hinata snapped. He stopped holding back. He couldn't handle Kageyama talking to him like this anymore. This wasn't anything like what he had imagined would happen when he confessed... This wasn't what he wanted at all...

“Bakeyama! When have you ever appreciated me?! When have you ever simply thanked me or said 'good job'?! I'm done with you yelling at me!" Hinata’s voice cracked as he finally broke under the stress, he was in hysterics with tears streaming down his face.

“Hi—” Kageyama bit his lip again harder. When Hinata ran out of the gym.

_ Wait… It’s snowing out! That's dangerous you're only wearing shorts and a T-shirt… _

Kageyama stepped forward but hesitated… He shut his eyes tight and forced himself to run after him.

“HINATA!” He pulled on his on jacket as he ran through the snow and frantically scanned the whiteness for any signs of that bright warm orange hair.

“Hinataaaa! Come back…. I'm… I'm sorry…” Kageyama shouted with his hands cupped around his mouth. Before he finally spotted a little sliver of orange in the distance.

When Kageyama finally found Hinata, his face dropped. The small boy turned to him, his face already swollen from tears. He must've been in such hysterics he didn't even realize he ran out right onto the ice.

“*HIC* Kage- *HIC* Kageyama *HIC*” Hinata sobbed with his jaw wide open. Kageyama calmly waved Hinata to come back… The ice might’ve been able to hold Hinata, but it could never hold Kageyama as well.

“Hinata… Calm down… And walk towards me….”

“No! *HIC* I-I ha- *HIC* have some-*HIC* thing to tell y-*HIC* you…”

“You can tell me once you get over here… We'll have a nice long talk…” Kageyama started to become even more nervous when he noticed small cracks in the ice. He slowly inched forward beckoning for Hinata who just continued to stand there and take a deep breath.

“I don’t love you anymore!” Hinata’s voice cracked, you could hear the desperation in these words as they left his mouth.

Kageyama froze… Something in his chest snapped as those words escaped Hinata’s mouth.

_ Why… Does it hurt… So much…? Oh, I must… _

_ CRAAAACK! _ Just then the ice under Hinata’s feet began to crack…

_ No… This…  _

All Hinata could do was look down before he was falling…

_ This can’t be… _

Everything went in slow motion as Hinata fell into the ice… Kageyama could see the expression on Hinata’s face right before he went under… 

_ This can't be happening... _

He didn’t look sad or scared… He looked… Almost...  _Relieved_ …

_ I’m tired… So tired… I just want to sleep forever…  _ Hinata thought as he fell through the ice.

This made the chip in his chest grow into a hole as he grasped for Hinata before he fell out of reach.

“HINATAAAA!” He screamed desperately as all he could do was watch his small orange friend submerge under the frozen lake...

…  _ Kersploosh... _

The silence was deafening after that. Kageyama stared at the water for minutes screaming his name a few more times, searching the water frantically, before he finally mustered up the courage and brought himself back to reality enough to dive in after him. It was so cold… _So cold…_ He couldn’t find him for a good 10 seconds before he was forced to come up for air, his lungs tight and shrunk from the shock of the cold water. When he finally grasped onto Hinata he clutched him so close to him and never wanted to let him go…

Kageyama sat in the snow dripping wet as he took off his wet jacket and wrapped it around the pale boy almost as white as the snow… He grabbed Hinata’s legs quickly and cradled him closely in his arms.

… _ My fault… _

Hinata wasn't breathing. Kageyama immediately started what CPR he learned health class. Incoherent thoughts crashing through his head. After what felt like forever Hinata finally coughed up a handful of water.  _Good sign…_ But his heartbeat was so slow and weak and his newfound breathing was shallow.  _B_ _ ad sign… _

His eyes fluttered open for a moment as he quietly uttered a few word.

"I'm cold... So cold... Tired..." Then his heavy lids fell closed once again

_ …This is my fault… _

“Nonononono! Stay awake!” He was shaking and he could barely even move his numb legs… They were moving purely on adrenaline as he stood up and started to run (dashi run run run, tell me if u get the reference... And sorry for the badly timed joke)… He watched as the small boy faded he not only watched it happen but he felt it… Felt the sunshine leave his body…

…  _ Please stay alive… Please… I’m sorry… _

Kageyama burst through the school doors soaking wet with ice already forming on his skin, holding a pale white boy in his arms… The students preparing for the culture festival immediately dropped what they were doing and stared at the two boys.

Kageyama dropped to his knees, which he couldn't even feel anymore.

“SOMEONE…. PLEASE… CALL AN AMBULANCE…” His voice was weak as he spoke between gasps for air. He faintly heard things clattering to the ground, feet shuffling against the floor, and voices overwhelming the room. He felt something warm on his shoulders as his consciousness faded, he could hear a blurry figure in front of him shouting but it was too distorted to understand.

… _ Hinata… Please be okay… _

Then everything went black.

And he woke up.

He tried to focus blurry eyes as he sharply inhaled with startle from suddenly being thrown somewhere completely different out of his head. He felt a small hand gently shaking his shoulder. His vision finally began to clear up and he could see the orange poofy hair of Hinata sitting in front of him.

“Kag-eya-ma…” He tried to speak with his raspy voice. A smile instantly spreading across Kageyama's lips as the current events of today came flooding in. Remembering how after he and Mrs. Hinata talked with the doctor and settled on a few things he fell asleep at Hinata's bedside.

Remembering how Hinata was really awake. Remembering how he can now attempt to cover up that memory with new ones he will make now with the boy in front of him. Remembering how much he loved Hinata and remembering how much he missed that breathtaking smile of his that outshone even the sun. As Kageyama carefully grabbed at the hand on his shoulder and slipped it into his. Earning himself one of those very smiles he missed so very much. Remembering how much he hurt him.

Remembering how Hinata could never love him again for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @kelliab17 thank you for being such a nice reader and friend to me. I actually did it! I updated on Thursday like I promised! Hope you liked it and continue to support me. And can't promise I won't be able to do the same next week, but I try my best!


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